A new look for the blog here still just playing around with this whole thing not 100% sure of where to go with this. Once the weather warms up will be able to get out on the bike and see what I can see. As for now just in to the day to day of January in the mid-west. Its cold and dark, after Christmas this is the time that is pretty bad. I do have to say there is something to say about hibernation.
I feel like an old bear (badger) just want to roll over and sleep the day away.
Now that's different than wishing the day away as I wrote a few day ago. I'm not one to sleep in I'm up early and go to bed early. So I guess I just hang around the house, and don't step outside much. My home is my cave, where I just hang out here in the house. No outside, maybe just to the mailbox to get the mail.
That doesn't work out too well see got to go to work. I'm just not feeling it as of late. I thought it was because of the holidays, I don't think it was. Well yesterday was the first day back after 11 days off so I should give it just a little more time.
It was nice to see everybody yesterday and hear about they're holidays. And we had a cake for Trish cause of it was her birthday yesterday. That was very nice!
Just after sitting around for 11 day at home, just trying to get back into the swing, it was hard. Everyone was in the same boat as I was yesterday, and its funny.
We all had a big holiday hang over!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hand full of days:
Well it's just a hand full of days now till Christmas day, and then the New Years holiday. That means 2011 is here, another year is gone. 2010 went so very fast boom, boom, and your gone. What the hell, it is funny as I do think about the passing year . I did reach some of my goals, I got to Wisconsin on my bike. I did start to work out, even if at the last here I haven't because I hurt my ribs working on the damn toilet. For the most part I have had a good year, and am looking forward to 2011.
Goals for 2011:
I'm going to start thinking about them and see where this takes me, I want for what ever reason to be a great year. Something that I can look back on and say, 2011 that was a year. With the darkness put away for now and I hope with all might, maybe gone for good. That is very doubtful I'm sure it will come unwelcome as it doesn't leave, like a family member who won't go home. I'll deal with that too.
Speaking of dealing I would like to think someone who helped me get through my latest dark issue, Trish you don't know just hope much you helped me with this. Just want to say Thank you! You pulled me out of a bad way, not sure I could have made it without you.
So back to goals for 2011 I'm going to start thinking about things I would like to do, and try for 2011. I would like to clear and shot past 2010. I'm also going to sit down and look over 2010 and put down just what I did in 2010. This could be something, or a joke not sure where this will go. As I often say "How it going? Not sure where but we're a going!" I think you just need to stay positive, 100% of the time. Yeah its hard and can you slip to 90%, even 65% sometimes sure. The thing is that you come back to 100% and remain there as much as you can. So I'll be coming up with my goal for the upcoming year, over the next week or so. Plus a list of things I pull off in 2010.
Goals for 2011:
I'm going to start thinking about them and see where this takes me, I want for what ever reason to be a great year. Something that I can look back on and say, 2011 that was a year. With the darkness put away for now and I hope with all might, maybe gone for good. That is very doubtful I'm sure it will come unwelcome as it doesn't leave, like a family member who won't go home. I'll deal with that too.
Speaking of dealing I would like to think someone who helped me get through my latest dark issue, Trish you don't know just hope much you helped me with this. Just want to say Thank you! You pulled me out of a bad way, not sure I could have made it without you.
So back to goals for 2011 I'm going to start thinking about things I would like to do, and try for 2011. I would like to clear and shot past 2010. I'm also going to sit down and look over 2010 and put down just what I did in 2010. This could be something, or a joke not sure where this will go. As I often say "How it going? Not sure where but we're a going!" I think you just need to stay positive, 100% of the time. Yeah its hard and can you slip to 90%, even 65% sometimes sure. The thing is that you come back to 100% and remain there as much as you can. So I'll be coming up with my goal for the upcoming year, over the next week or so. Plus a list of things I pull off in 2010.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Hey, what are we going to do?
Hey Kids,
How's it going out there? I'm having one of those weeks, were I'm just not feeling it. I could careless about work and home both, it is taking all of my energy to make it through the day. I'm trying extra hard to put it out there because of the holiday season, make the good face. I would be better in bed with the covers pulled over my head. And with that said, it's not like I don't want to be where I am as of right now, it's just the opposite of that. I'm happy or at the lest feel happy. I think this is what happy feels like, and see that were this goes all the time. This is where I am and not sure where I am going with this or even myself. Its odd in someways, you battle and battle and for what. Why do we put ourselves out like this, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. Now see this is not were this needed to go wanted to keep this up beat. Its the holidays I've got two work parities to go to one on Friday and the other on Monday. Part of me would love to pack it in on them, and I would love to. There are people at work I do care for very much and I do like seeing them outside of work.It all comes back to these holidays. I wish I knew why I hate them so very much. Is it sending time, a day with a house of people for the most part can't stand? Maybe so, hey it just one day. No big deal right, well see that's were I think that maybe its wrong. Its my day too and shouldn't I be able to do with it as I see fit? I'm not saying sit around the house in my underwear and look at porn. That's a option though.... I know its not, I just feel ran down. I need to pull the plug here move on. After all this time this is all there is, a pile of bills and a empty house. This doesn't seem fair after 25 year of working at one place, and 30 years of marriage. This is it, this is what I worked for, this is what I've got to show. Maybe that why it so hard to be strong in this face of the day to day.
I'm just not sure?
How's it going out there? I'm having one of those weeks, were I'm just not feeling it. I could careless about work and home both, it is taking all of my energy to make it through the day. I'm trying extra hard to put it out there because of the holiday season, make the good face. I would be better in bed with the covers pulled over my head. And with that said, it's not like I don't want to be where I am as of right now, it's just the opposite of that. I'm happy or at the lest feel happy. I think this is what happy feels like, and see that were this goes all the time. This is where I am and not sure where I am going with this or even myself. Its odd in someways, you battle and battle and for what. Why do we put ourselves out like this, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. Now see this is not were this needed to go wanted to keep this up beat. Its the holidays I've got two work parities to go to one on Friday and the other on Monday. Part of me would love to pack it in on them, and I would love to. There are people at work I do care for very much and I do like seeing them outside of work.It all comes back to these holidays. I wish I knew why I hate them so very much. Is it sending time, a day with a house of people for the most part can't stand? Maybe so, hey it just one day. No big deal right, well see that's were I think that maybe its wrong. Its my day too and shouldn't I be able to do with it as I see fit? I'm not saying sit around the house in my underwear and look at porn. That's a option though.... I know its not, I just feel ran down. I need to pull the plug here move on. After all this time this is all there is, a pile of bills and a empty house. This doesn't seem fair after 25 year of working at one place, and 30 years of marriage. This is it, this is what I worked for, this is what I've got to show. Maybe that why it so hard to be strong in this face of the day to day.
I'm just not sure?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Merry Christmas?
Well here we are December. The last month of the year, and going head first into the Christmas holiday.Oh joy for what ever reason I've grown to hate this time of the year. Not sure why? So this year I've made a few changes, no matter how much I get pissed off about this time of year I'm going to in brace it. I've all ready put up the Christmas lights outside, and Saturday is the tree. I'm going to put it up and enjoy the time I'm doing it. See this is so much better, nope it's not. More like put my head down and get it done, it is like asking for seconds of something you can't stand. In a lot of way it kind of the way my life has turned out. Don't get me wrong I have great life. Its just sometimes the day to day just drags at me. I put on my best face and put my head down and get it done. As I get older times seem to get faster, no time for anytime and time much for nothing. Sucks I know, but still it more like no time for the things that make you feel good inside. Not sure if I'm getting anywhere with this silly thought of mine. Well any ways still on some train of thought, and can put it all together, so far. I shouldn't feel this way is what I'm saying. I should be happy with the things I've done, and the family I have. So this is all there is, it seems to me it should be more.
This is something that will not be finished in a paragraph or two, and how would be?
This is something that will not be finished in a paragraph or two, and how would be?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
New Day!
It's a new day, start out with a clear white board for the day. That's how I see the way to make thru each day over night the cleaning lady comes in wipes everything down and cleans the white board for another day. You get up in the morning and go thru the morning routine. Get in your car or want ever way you get off to work, making notes as the day goes on. Some days the white doesn't even get a look, and other days I wish I had two of the damn things. Putting stuff over other things, so it looks more like some odd math problem that only Albert Einstein could figure out.
I know this sound a bit strange, and not what you would think of as you go thru your life. It makes me feel better because this way I try not to let thing from day to day get in my way. In some ways may open up some kind of thinking. If you try to leave things in the past, maybe that were they will stay, not always you do have to deal with things that not what I mean. The shit is still there and if it gets cleaned off the white board, doesn't mean it didn't leave behind a very foul smell, cause that's what it does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let it stay around to long because it gets harder and harder to get the smell out of your white board, and we don't get new ones. No up-grade down the road. In fact the kids of today have I-pads, and maybe because I'm older mine is more likey a chalkboard.
These things get heavy over the years!
I know this sound a bit strange, and not what you would think of as you go thru your life. It makes me feel better because this way I try not to let thing from day to day get in my way. In some ways may open up some kind of thinking. If you try to leave things in the past, maybe that were they will stay, not always you do have to deal with things that not what I mean. The shit is still there and if it gets cleaned off the white board, doesn't mean it didn't leave behind a very foul smell, cause that's what it does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let it stay around to long because it gets harder and harder to get the smell out of your white board, and we don't get new ones. No up-grade down the road. In fact the kids of today have I-pads, and maybe because I'm older mine is more likey a chalkboard.
These things get heavy over the years!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Something to be thankful of?
Well we made it thru another Thanks Giving and black Friday shopping thang! Which is nice I guess, I myself did not go out to the shopping malls or even small shops. I stay in this weekend and unplugged myself of the computer and cell phone. I did have a bit of a txting match with a friend, other then that I let myself be unplugged. Didn't check my e-mails till this morning were I had 125 in my in box, and most were save a percentage on black Friday savings. And the ones that came in this morning are for cyber Monday, so you can go to work and use there computers and buy stuff. Man this is what it has come to, stuff and how much you save buying stuff. I'm just not sure anymore. If anybody reads this ask your self this what did I get last year for Christmas? Write it down try to remember what did people so near and dear to you give to for Christmas. Anybody I didn't think so, out of all the things you got last year for Christmas came come up with anything can you or maybe one thing. Don't feel bad most of can't remember this fine moment in time. The love ones who picked out th gifts they most likey will not remember what they bought you, so the playing field is on the same footing.
Now before you go off to the mall think about this question I have thrown out there to you, think about it long and hard. Then spend like there is no tomorrow cause you're spinning to world largest economy, putting the world back to work. With goods and services, we need this shot in the arm. And it makes people feel good about themselves. Work is the one thing that is the same in our lives, it makes us who and what we are.
Now before you go off to the mall think about this question I have thrown out there to you, think about it long and hard. Then spend like there is no tomorrow cause you're spinning to world largest economy, putting the world back to work. With goods and services, we need this shot in the arm. And it makes people feel good about themselves. Work is the one thing that is the same in our lives, it makes us who and what we are.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Holidays
Yes it's that time again isn't it, The Holidays. I'm not a fan and dun't know why really as a kid we would load up the car and go down to Peoria. To see my grandma and grandpa, I loved them they were good people. Life was so very good in that time.My mom and dad were still together, and as I get older thing were just simple. As thing and time moves on it's not that simple anymore.
In my 20's married with small kids of my own, time was fast paced. What I would give to have a morning with my kids as well kids. Little kids who have very little thing on there minds, more of base needs. Last week a coworker friend had a baby, and I was thrown back into that time of thinking about babies. That whole baby time is a year maybe two at the most. When it's over it over you can't get that back, in that time it a vortex. Bottles and dapper and four am feeding sleepless night when there are sick. Oh yes no money or time to spend, and sometime just didn't seem fair. You work and work 12 to 14 hours a day and it still wasn't enough. Times were good don't get me wrong.
It was the best, now with two empty bedrooms in this big house of ours. I have so much to be thankful of this year. My kids are well, and happy. My and wife and me are enjoying these years as of late. and the holidays are here. Well I started with one thing in mind to write this morning and it turned into another. So maybe this year my holidays will be good, not looking into the past. Of holidays that were just out bad, move on and look forward to the new.....
In my 20's married with small kids of my own, time was fast paced. What I would give to have a morning with my kids as well kids. Little kids who have very little thing on there minds, more of base needs. Last week a coworker friend had a baby, and I was thrown back into that time of thinking about babies. That whole baby time is a year maybe two at the most. When it's over it over you can't get that back, in that time it a vortex. Bottles and dapper and four am feeding sleepless night when there are sick. Oh yes no money or time to spend, and sometime just didn't seem fair. You work and work 12 to 14 hours a day and it still wasn't enough. Times were good don't get me wrong.
It was the best, now with two empty bedrooms in this big house of ours. I have so much to be thankful of this year. My kids are well, and happy. My and wife and me are enjoying these years as of late. and the holidays are here. Well I started with one thing in mind to write this morning and it turned into another. So maybe this year my holidays will be good, not looking into the past. Of holidays that were just out bad, move on and look forward to the new.....
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