Hand full of days:

Well it's just a hand full of days now till Christmas day, and then the New Years holiday. That means 2011 is here, another year is gone. 2010 went so very fast boom, boom, and your gone. What the hell, it is funny as I do think about the passing year . I did reach some of my goals, I got to Wisconsin on my bike. I did start to work out, even if at the last here I haven't because I hurt my ribs working on the damn toilet. For the most part I have had a good year, and am looking forward to 2011.
Goals for 2011:
I'm going to start thinking about them and see where this takes me, I want for what ever reason to be a great year. Something that I can look back on and say, 2011 that was a year. With the darkness put away for now and I hope with all might, maybe gone for good. That is very doubtful I'm sure it will come unwelcome as it doesn't leave, like a family member who won't go home. I'll deal with that too.
Speaking of dealing I would like to think someone who helped me get through my latest dark issue, Trish you don't know just hope much you helped me with this. Just want to say Thank you! You pulled me out of a bad way, not sure I could have made it without you.
So back to goals for 2011 I'm going to start thinking about things I would like to do, and try for 2011. I would like to clear and shot past 2010. I'm also going to sit down and look over 2010 and put down just what I did in 2010. This could be something, or a joke not sure where this will go. As I often say "How it going? Not sure where but we're a going!" I think you just need to stay positive, 100% of the time. Yeah its hard and can you slip to 90%, even 65% sometimes sure. The thing is that you come back to 100% and remain there as much as you can. So I'll be coming up with my goal for the upcoming year, over the next week or so. Plus a list of things I pull off in 2010.
  

Hey, what are we going to do?

Hey Kids,
How's it going out there? I'm having one of those weeks, were I'm just not feeling it. I could careless about work and home both, it is taking all of my energy to make it through the day. I'm trying extra hard to put it out there because of the holiday season, make the good face. I would be better in bed with the covers pulled over my head. And with that said, it's not like I don't want to be where I am as of right now, it's just the opposite of that. I'm happy or at the lest feel happy. I think this is what happy feels like, and see that were this goes all the time. This is where I am and not sure where I am going with this or even myself. Its odd in someways, you battle and battle and for what. Why do we put ourselves out like this, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. Now see this is not were this needed to go wanted to keep this up beat. Its the holidays I've got two work parities to go to one on Friday and the other on Monday. Part of me would love to pack it in on them, and I would love to. There are people at work I do care for very much and I do like seeing them outside of work.It all comes back to these holidays. I wish I knew why I hate them so very much. Is it sending time, a day with a house of people for the most part can't stand? Maybe so, hey it just one day. No big deal right, well see that's were I think that maybe its wrong. Its my day too and shouldn't I be able to do with it as I see fit? I'm not saying sit around the house in my underwear and look at porn. That's a option though....  I know its not, I just feel ran down. I need to pull the plug here move on. After all this time this is all there is, a pile of bills and a empty house. This doesn't seem fair after 25 year of working at one place, and 30 years of marriage. This is it, this is what I worked for, this is what I've got to show. Maybe that why it so hard to be strong in this face of the day to day.
I'm just not sure?

Merry Christmas?

Well here we are December. The last month of the year, and going head first into the Christmas holiday.Oh joy for what ever reason I've grown to hate this time of the year. Not sure why? So this year I've made a few changes, no matter how much I get pissed off about this time of year I'm going to in brace it. I've all ready put up the Christmas lights outside, and Saturday is the tree. I'm going to put it up and enjoy the time I'm doing it. See this is so much better, nope it's not. More like put my head down and get it done, it is like asking for seconds of something you can't stand. In a lot of way it kind of the way my life has turned out. Don't get me wrong I have great life. Its just sometimes the day to day just drags at me. I put on my best face and put my head down and get it done. As I get older times seem to get faster, no time for anytime and time much for nothing. Sucks I know, but still it more like no time for the things that make you feel good inside. Not sure if I'm getting anywhere with this silly thought of mine. Well any ways still on some train of thought, and can put it all together, so far. I shouldn't feel this way is what I'm saying. I should be happy with the things I've done, and the family I have. So this is all there is, it seems to me it should be more.
This is something that will not be finished in a paragraph or two, and how would be?

New Day!

It's a new day, start out with a clear white board for the day. That's how I see the way to make thru each day over night the cleaning lady comes in wipes everything down and cleans the white board for another day. You get up in the morning and go thru the morning routine. Get in your car or want ever way you get off to work, making notes as the day goes on. Some days the white doesn't even get a look, and other days I wish I had two of the damn things. Putting stuff over other things, so it looks more like some odd math problem that only Albert Einstein could figure out.
I know this sound a bit strange, and not what you would think of as you go thru your life. It makes me feel better because this way I try not to let thing from day to day get in my way. In some ways may open up some kind of thinking. If you try to leave things in the past, maybe that were they will stay, not always you do have to deal with things that not what I mean. The shit is still there and if it gets cleaned off the white board, doesn't mean it didn't leave behind a very foul smell, cause that's what it does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let it stay around to long because it gets harder and harder to get the smell out of your white board, and we don't get new ones. No up-grade down the road. In fact the kids of today have I-pads, and maybe because I'm older mine is more likey a chalkboard.
These things get heavy over the years!

Something to be thankful of?

Well we made it thru another Thanks Giving and black Friday shopping thang! Which is nice I guess, I myself did not go out to the shopping malls or even small shops. I stay in this weekend and unplugged myself of the computer and cell phone. I did have a bit of a txting match with a friend, other then that I let myself be unplugged. Didn't check my e-mails till this morning were I had 125 in my in box, and most were save a percentage on black Friday savings. And the ones that came in this morning are for cyber Monday, so you can go to work and use there computers and buy stuff. Man this is what it has come to, stuff and how much you save buying stuff. I'm just not sure anymore. If anybody reads this ask your self this what did I get last year for Christmas? Write it down try to remember what did people so near and dear to you give to for Christmas. Anybody I didn't think so, out of all the things you got last year for Christmas came come up with anything can you or maybe one thing. Don't feel bad most of can't remember this fine moment in time. The love ones who picked out th gifts they most likey will not remember what they bought you, so the playing field is on the same footing.
Now before you go off to the mall think about this question I have thrown out there to you, think about it long and hard. Then spend like there is no tomorrow cause you're spinning to world largest economy, putting the world back to work. With goods and services, we need this shot in the arm. And it makes people feel good about themselves. Work is the one thing that is the same in our lives, it makes us who and what we are.    

Holidays

Yes it's that time again isn't it, The Holidays. I'm not a fan and dun't know why really as a kid we would load up the car and go down to Peoria. To see my grandma and grandpa, I loved them they were good people. Life was so very good in that time.My mom and dad were still together, and as I get older thing were just simple. As thing and time moves on it's not that simple anymore.
In my 20's married with small kids of my own, time was fast paced. What I would give to have a morning with my kids as well kids. Little kids who have very little thing on there minds, more of base needs. Last week a coworker friend had a baby, and I was thrown back into that time of thinking about babies. That whole baby time is a year maybe two at the most. When it's over it over you can't get that back, in that time it a vortex. Bottles and dapper and four am feeding sleepless night when there are sick. Oh yes no money or time to spend, and sometime just didn't seem fair. You work and work 12 to 14 hours a day and it still wasn't enough. Times were good don't get me wrong.
It was the best, now with two empty bedrooms in this big house of ours. I have so much to be thankful of this year. My kids are well, and happy. My and wife and me are enjoying these years as of late. and the holidays are here. Well I started with one thing in mind to write this morning and it turned into another. So maybe this year my holidays will be good, not looking into the past. Of holidays that were just out bad, move on and look forward to the new.....

Happy Sunday! (maybe? or how I'm 273 dollars lighter)

Plumbers are good people, they work hard and make a good buck. So opens my silly weekend were everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Friday night after work picked Cindy up and went to Culver's the meal was very good as always. So far so good right, right! Off to Menard's for plumbing parts to fix the leaky toilet. Got from Menard's (1) toilet fill valve $8.99 not bad, (should fit any and all toilets)  Hey that's what it says on the box anyways. Plus got a few other doodads for around the house. Any ways all is well with the world as we get home and enjoy our evening.
 At this time and point I will not go into the Chicago Blackhawks play as too it is not right to talk about that game after the point of Saturday morning. It is Sunday now so I will move on.
GOOD MORNING SATURDAY!
Saturday world in my house is a welcomed and is also a time for the drinking of coffee and watching of t.v. it's the most relaxing of days. Oh yes and the reading of the news paper, now Saturdays paper is a very small paper as of the last few years. I do still enjoy it because, it is the feeling of the paper in your. And I just like sitting in the kitchen table and reading it. (silly I know!) So after the reading of the paper I move into the couch and watch House on DVR. Cindy doesn't like the show much, but I enjoy the hell out of it..... Well with my Saturday morning well under way papers read, and House watched it time to be a plumber.
Getting all my tools together reading the instructions ( yes I did read the instructions) I begin the walk into the unknown. Removing the water from the tank and removing all the old parts, and then putting the new parts in. Going off the instructions doing each step. Carefully looking at the drawings to make sure it all looks the same. All is good with my world. Parts working like they should and going very well.(as a side line projects never go my way) This was so I was very happy. The fitting of the water line, yep that water line. So taking  everything a part that I had in the tank. Making the water line fit, still my world was very good, I can take a set back like this it's all good!
Now time has come to turn on the water. With breath held I turn the little valve. The sound of water fills the room, and the water fill the tank. I'm watching as the tank level rises. Watching the water as it hits the mark of where water for years in this tank has hit. With breath held the valve stops the water. I look over to Cindy who is in the doorway of our second bathroom and I on the floor. The water stopped, I said it out load. "THE WATER STOPPED!" Yes it had stopped, I was feeling at the top of my game. My male ego very much feeling well male.
Then I looked down, and what I saw made my blood run cold. Yes it was dripping. "Damn-it!" I said under my breath. Well maybe it need a turn of the wrench, yes that's what it needs just a turn or two of the wrench. It still was leaking maybe even more. Drip, drip ,drip turning the wrench. Maybe it was the old water line, maybe the old water line didn't play well with others.
So off to Menard's I went, telling myself yep I just put in that new water line and it will be all good. In and out of Menard's in no time, and back upstairs in the second bathroom were I have now spent the good part of my morning. Removed the old line and put in the new one. I'm like a pro I said to myself as the new water line went in. The new water line is a tube kind and was 9 inches long. It looked a little short or long. I was able to make it work by looping it from the wall to the tank. The closeness of the loop made the water in the hose sound funny and the tank filled very slowly.
Cindy came upstairs to see how I was doing plus to tell me she was off to the store. To pick up things for the holiday coming up. As the tank filled and stopped as it should once again I felt like I had done something good. Even if the tank filled slow, it filled and it didn't leak. And then it happened drip drip drip...... It had the wrench put to it, and still drip, drip,drip...... Maybe the loop was making this happen.
So off to ACE Hardware were I pick up and 16 inch water line the loop would not be to close and the water would run freely into the tank. Back home with the new water line in place, I'm getting so good at this. I was thinking to myself. Turned on the water the tank filled fast it stopped at the line, looked down and no dripping. No ego this time just a feeling of this is done. Came down stairs got a drink of water and got to sit down and thinking that all is right with the world. Thinking  about the job I've just done, I went up to clean up my tools, and drip,drip, drip........
I called a plumber he came in the house and 15 minutes later he was gone 273 dollars gone out of my pocket and no drips........

Well poop!

Awe man they messed up my order, Damn-it! World Cycling Production messed up I ordered a Gaitor cap to keep me warm cause I can't find my other one. They send me a face-mask instead, wow! So call them up and they were very nice on the phone and the woman had a great Minnesota accent. So she said she'll send me out the right one and then I'll send them back the mask. Just one of though's days, its all cool. I'll get my cap in a few days and all will be right with the world. (maybe?)

no work out!

Well Thursday,
Yesterday worked out, ran 2 miles not to bad. I'm starting to like the running thing. It gets the blood going big time. So felt great the rest of the day. I find it funny that doing a little bit of that in the morning makes my day a lot better. I do truly enjoy it. I want to see if maybe this weekend I can get out for a run (need to see how the weather going to be) it on the list. Well the list in my head of thing to do. A long with riding my bike across the U.S.A. and mountain climbing, and the Rally car racing. Any ways that the check in I have for today!

Well It's Tuesday!

Hello, and good morning,
I've come to the hard fact that is maybe harder than I had thought it would be. At first in my mind put down some silly thing at pops into my brain, and move on. Well it doesn't work like that, because once it goes on to the web . It's there out for all to see. So you don't want to put something out there for all the world to see, and have it be poorly written. Or in my case bad spelling because I'm awful. (god awful is more like it) see that is not my point of this, it was to put myself out there. Maybe make some in small ways a better place, for myself. So with that said, It's just Tuesday. I still have a lot of time to try to get some kind of thought across!

Hey:

Hey this is all new to me. So I'll keep this brief, my intent is to say something about me and my life. Not that I'm someone who knows a great deal about anything at all. Just what it's like to be 50 year of age and working, and living my so call life. Over the next days, months and maybe years I can tell a few people on the silly little rock we live on about my life. So here we go, and hope along the way changes can be made to make all thing great and small better.
Billy